This past weekend I celebrated my 29th birthday. When I was younger, birthdays used to be such a superficial and grandiose affair. I used to buy a new birthday outfit every year, get my hair and nails done, post relentlessly on social media that my birthday is coming up-yeah, I was very self conscious back then. ( Not to say I have grown past it. I still struggle with self-conscious behaviors from time to time.) However, this year my birthday was celebrated differently in many ways.
The joy of my 29th new year rested peacefully in my heart. It made me think of my endless blessings, achievements and my personal growth. It made me appreciate everyone around me; my husband, the community of faith I am a part of, my friends, colleagues and students.
As I reflected on age 28, an image of a house fire came to mind. House fires usually first start inside the house before an alarm is sounded, notifying the owner that something is wrong. My inner soul represents my house. My 28th year, I endured my own personal house fires.
Fires that wreaked havoc in my mind, heart and character. Fires that were daunting, dry and at times very arid. But, those fires were my best teachers confirgured into memorable life lessons. After they passed, ashes of vain glory were left over. I witnessed, experienced and lived those moments; journeyed through an abyss of trials and revelations, and out of it I emerged into a beautiful warrior of light. I’m beyond grateful. Even though the storms came, when it was over only sunshine took its place.
So, as I write this blog, a thought just came to mind. I’ll be turning 30 next year -by God’s grace. In 10 years time, I’ll be 39 years old. What would I want my future self to remember about my 20s- my young adult years?
I would want my future self to remember my courage, strength and my stories along my life journey. I would never want to forget what it feels like to be young and searching for a sense of direction. I would want to remember how the act of actively listening to others speaks more volumes than meaningless words. I also would want to remember my boldness, my adventure spirit, steadfast focus, and last but not least my faith.
By 39, Micah and I will probably have pre-teens running around the house, full of adventure, keeping us busy and talking our ears off. But when I look back, I would like to be in a position where I’m passing on all the knowledge and wisdom I’ve learned along the years- speaking out loud with no reservations. At age 39, I hope to be the woman I am now in the process of becoming.
Wednesday, September 28th, 2016