The Fledge Method

In recent months, I have been fascinated with the mother eagle, particularly on how she cares for her young. Several times I found myself asking, how is a young eaglet taught to fly? At what stage in life do they start learning how to use their wings and eventually maximize them? At what point does the mother eagle decide that it is time to let go? I believe a series of events prompted these questions– Lately, I’ve been thinking about my son. I’ve been imagining what his childhood, adolescence, and adult years will be like and this short story was created in dedication to him.

The Fledge Method

When I was just a seed, mother prepared the nest for me. She worked diligently to find the sturdiest of branches. Gliding through the winds to build the nest that would one day house me. I was her priority, her joy, her heartbeat.

Then I was born. I was white, frail, and extremely needy. Mother nursed me; in her wings, I was comforted and warm. We delighted in each other. For me, life was mother, and somehow, mother was me. I saw the world through her eyes. I understood in part by what she seen.

One day mother started acting strangely. She flew out of the nest with a look of determination in her eyes. My eyes followed her as she soared high through the winds. That is all I could do, after all, life was mother and mother was me. But something about that day, made a chill go up my spine. Before mother left the nest, she kept repeating one thing,“The time to fledge has come.”

Fledge, the one word that kept imprinting itself in my mind. Curiosity was starting to overtake me, so I stood at the edge of the nest protected by its borders, awaiting mother. I thought maybe she just went out to get me food. Surely she will come back soon. The sun relentlessly beat against me; slowly hours turned into days, no sign of mother or the sound of her voice making way in the wind.

The fourth day I decided to peer at the edge of the nest. My feeble legs somehow lifted me to the peak. Then a blustery breeze overtook my balance. I was falling out fast, uncontrollably with no awareness as to where I would end up. Swoosh was the sound of the wind, and I found myself laying on mother’s back. “Mother you saved me!” I beamed with contentment and joy. But all mother said was, “The time to fledge has come.”

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“Mother?” I asked nervously. “What does that mean…fledge?” Her only words, “The time to fledge has come.” Mother’s wings guided us back to the nest. However, the nest that once housed me was destroyed. “Mother, what happened to our home?” Her only words, “The time to fledge has come.” “Mother, I don’t understand what does that mean? Why do you keep saying that? You’re scaring me.” She looked at me with her potent eyes and began to hover over me.

It was at that moment; I begin to be entranced by her wings. They were dazzling. It was like they were singing a song to the wind. Mother said nothing. She just simply fluttered her wings above me. I was transfixed at all that was happening. Suddenly I had this urge to stretch. As I started to extend my feathers, Mother’s flutters became faster. Her eyes glued to me and my–feathers. My feathers. I was mother and mother was me, so I began to flap them.

Mother rose higher. In the still air, she watched me intensely as I started flapping uncontrollably. Then slowly but surely, the wind lifted me. I had the look of terror in my eyes. I’m almost certain of it. Yet, I felt carried by something bigger than me. I looked away from mother, and through the distance, I noticed others; other eaglets that were taking their first flight away from the nest.

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My eyes zoned in on them. Until I finally heard mother say, It is done. The fledge method is complete.” On that day, I learned, I was no longer mother and mother was no longer me. She was my first foundation and will always be the steady force behind who I am. But she is her own entity, and the same goes for me. Her wings were taught how to mount through the dangerous of winds courageously; so that one day, she, in turn, can teach me. She destroyed the nest for me to understand life in its wildest, windswept form.

Now that I am older, I later learned more about that day when my mother glided through the winds  and just left me with the words, “The time to fledge has come.” She flew to the peak of the highest mountain to watch me and what I would do. She recaptures her side of the story with only a few words, A mother learns early on in life the art of waiting on her young.” I asked mother, “What made you decide that it was time to let go?” She simply responded, “It was time.”

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So, as I prepare for my son, I imagine his life through stages. When he is first born, I will be like the mother eagle caring intently for her young. In my son’s young eyes, he will be like his mother, and I will reflect him. But he will someday grow to become a man, and I must be prepared to release him to the winds. I will someday have to recognize when the time to fledge has come. In that realization, I pray throughout his upbringing, his father and I will help him to see himself as his own entity. I hope at an early age he comprehends the power of his wings.

Because, son, if years later you find yourself reading this short story, mama and papa always knew the weighted significance of time and you, son, was created to soar high.

-The Fledge Method-

Wednesday, August 30th, 2017

Signing Out,

Esther Lynn

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Inklub

My husband, Micah and I started a new YouTube channel called, the Inklub. Below is a description of what the Inklub is all about. I hope all my readers will check out our new channel and subscribe.

Inklub is a channel where we will share our writings to inspire, encourage, and sometimes even challenge our viewers to think differently. Most of our videos will be spoken word pieces, but we also plan to share songs, stories, and various other creative presentations.

Our writings are inspired by the world around us; whether it be our experiences or others. As we observe, we listen, we write and then speak out our perspectives.

We believe there is something undeniably therapeutic about words–the right words. That is why we are so adamant about sharing what we’ve written. We hope you enjoy this channel. Feel free to subscribe and connect with us.

Till Next time Friends,

Esther Lynn

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

A Grateful Heart

I will and forever be grateful for the time Micah, and I are spending abroad in Korea. This journey has been nothing short of a blessing. We both grown tremendously in our faith, giftings, and overall love for life and people. We traveled to different countries and exposed ourselves to various cultures across Asia. Although we still have a lot more traveling to do, the short time we’ve been living abroad are filled with endless MicNillyAdventures.

Thus far, 2017 has been a fantastic year.  I enjoy the company of my colleagues. It’s nothing like last year at all. All the bad apples are finally gone, including my selfish, independent American mentality. A new set of fresh minds started this academic year, and it has been such a joy working with them and getting to know them in and outside of the classroom. It’s always good to have good vibes with the people you work alongside. It makes the whole work environment so much easier and less stressful. After all most of my time is spent at work during the weekdays.

My students are overwhelmingly cute and super loving towards me. This school year, I teach first through sixth graders. My first and second graders call me Moana and are often intrigued with my hair and skin tone. I’m sure I’m the first black person they ever saw, LOL! My sixth graders are not that eventful but not too bad for teenagers.

The weather is getting nicer and the yellow dust season is hopefully almost over. Air pollution in Korea is horrible, to say the least. When I lived in America, I use to wonder why people in China wear mask over their mouths. I understand now. Korea has taught me to appreciate the clear air days. I will never take it for granted again.

In any case, life is great and full of wonder. Grateful to God for the community of people we have around us and the endless experiences we have had in the past few months. This blog post just serves as an update. Life is good and changing us for the better.

Till Next time,

Esther Lynn

Westernized Eyes

Saturday, December 31st, 2016

As 2016 quickly comes to an end, I can’t help but reflect on how my westernized eyes have changed since this year started. I started this year full of hope, ambition and gratitude. I left all that I knew behind to start anew in a foreign land. My process of becoming entered the next level. I thought the things I read in books about Korea was enough to prepare me for actually living here. Boyyy, was I wrong. Nothing can prepare you for the next level. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to be prepared and fully aware of your next move. But, experience will always trump book knowledge any day. In this blog I hope to give a brief snippet of my 2016 year abroad.

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I made a huge mistake. I entered the Land of the Morning Calm thinking I knew everything I needed to know to live here. I must admit, I was not teachable in the beginning. In my westernized eyes, there were too many things that were backwards. For instance, the communal soap bar in the public bathroom to wash your hands, the lack of napkins in the restaurants, the extremely cold hallways at school, the twisted perception of women roles- that’s just a few things amongst the plethora of examples I can give. I thought the problem was them, but in retrospect the problem was me.

My westernized eyes valued independence; separation from the crowd and my own personal opinions. I cringed to have to do anything mandatory- to not have an option was societal suicide. Yet, I found myself living in a foreign land where the pressures of community were absolutely necessary and prevalent to life. Everyone was a part of something. When one eat, we all eat. When one speaks,  we all contribute to conversation. When one is by themselves, we all come together and join them. Community, the backbone of the Korean life. There is no such thing as independence here. Separation from the crowd means you don’t care and personal opinions, if they are not relatable to the situation at hand, keep them to yourself. My beginning stages of life in Korea was a constant collision of resistance of two different cultures battling one another, instead of learning from each other. In retrospect, I was just being stupid. Comparisons can be a deadly force, especially when the similarities are hidden behind the blind spots. Again, I thought something was wrong with them, but the real problem was me.

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The first three to six months of 2016 I was in a constant battle with myself. I used to think it was the people conspiring against me- but, in reality, it was my westernized eyes. It was how I viewed them, their world and culture as a whole. I entered this new level of life abroad all wrong. As mentioned, comparisons can be a deadly force, especially when the similarities are hidden behind blind spots. In the western world, the bathrooms don’t always have soap. School buildings don’t always have heat. Gender roles in the west are just as twisted as it is in the eastern hemisphere. Personal opinions aren’t always welcomed, especially when it’s not benefiting anyone or the situation at hand. I had the same challenges when I lived in America, so what made them so different or alarming living in South Korea? It’s the fact that the experience was unknown, unfamiliar and never experienced.

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As for community, in the West we emphasize the differences between introverts and extroverted people. If you like to talk, you’re a social butterfly and you’ll thrive in any situation. But, if you’re an introvert, like me, people will just think you’re a loner, snobby and super weird. I struggled with community too, when I lived in America. What makes it any different now? It’s the fact that I had to finally confront my issues with community, instead of hiding from it or acting as if it doesn’t exist. I actually have met extroverts that still struggle with community. Extrovert or introvert, it means nothing. We all have our own separate challenges. We are all somehow resisting change. We are all in the process of becoming.

2016 has taught me  a valuable lesson: confrontation with self. The ability to take a deeper look with what’s going on inside of me. My resistance to things that can actually produce growth. This year has given me a deeper understanding of my root system. My western eyes has caused much dissension with  my surroundings. But, it’s not all bad, valuable life  lessons were learned throughout it all. I can see my progress. Who I was in the beginning of 2016 is not who I am now. I have learned and understood that all created things need community in order to survive. My westernized eyes did not fail me completely. It actually opened my world view. There is more to life than just me, my experiences and culture. It’s all about being honest with yourself and seeing the purpose in the life you’re experiencing.

At the end of it all, 2016 has been a great year. I had challenges but I also had a lot of memorable moments. I still end this year with hope, ambition and gratitude. I learned so much. My process will continue to grow my character. In that regard, I end with, “Happy New Year.” Let’s learn how to be honest with ourselves, so that we’re authentic with the community that surrounds us.

I’m just speaking out loud in my process of becoming…

Date: Saturday, December 31st, 2016

Signing Out,

~Esther Lynn~

 

To The Runner

To the runner:

If God was to tell you everything that is to come, would you be able to bear it, handle it or would you run from it? Chances are you would run. This letter is to the runners. The young soul that allows fear to grip them. The women that tends to say yes, but really wants to say no. The men that struggles with consistency. This letter is to the runners that numb their senses, in order to distract themselves from experiencing reality. My message to you is, Stop running aimlessly!

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To the runner: you’re capable of achieving great exploits. You have the power to go above and beyond where you stand now. The problem is your motivation. You get caught up in the expectations and opinions of mere man. Don’t you know what they say about you, they actually struggle with too? Or are you so blind to their manipulative words that you fail to see the hidden truth?

To the runner: you’re better than you think. Your mind can easily twist a mere occurrence and make it bigger in your imagination. Your body lies to you too. The truth is you’re not feeling lazy or unmotivated, what’s really happening is you feel distance from what is and what potential could be…

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To the runner: your heart is desperately wicked. You must protect it from the lies that looms over it. If not careful, we too can be master manipulators, dictators and crazy control freaks. You think, as long as you can control a situation it won’t get out of hand. But, Usually the very things we try to control, are the very things that spiral uncontrollably. Let it go! It’s important to allow things and people to find their own way. After all, everyone has their own journey and their own process of becoming.

To the runner: you’re beautiful, you’re enough and your value is far beyond any materialistic thing that you use to define your beauty. True beauty is found from within. Take the time necessary to learn the treasure that awaits you deep within your soul. It’s in your soul’s treasure box you will find the tools you need to confront the very things you run from.

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To the runner: stop running aimlessly, run with purpose, run with a direction already set in mind? All runners are really messengers. You may think differently, but the way in which you portray your message, a mere onlooker will find it easy to profess your story.

Pause and think about that

Runners are stolon branches, stemming out of its ends are roots in constant development, making enough space to produce new plants. Runners are grounded, hidden beneath dark soils. Runners are a representation of this stolons growth process. Others may not see your transformation, but the be process is on the verge of becoming. Soon you will rise above the surface.

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To the runner: Stop running aimlessly. You’re more than enough. People’s expectations do not define you. Your life is your story, be aware of your message; your be process is on the verge of becoming, Soon you will rise above the surface.  

So, Run with direction; run with purpose.

Signing Out,

Saturday, December 10th, 2016

Willynn Sanon Thompson

Writer’s Name: Esther Lynn

Preserving the Foundation

How is my today preparing me for my tomorrow? A question that’s been plaguing my mind ever since I turned 25 years old. It’s no different at age 29. I live in a world where every thing is always rushed, everything is right now, fast paced living is the way of life, there is no process and it’s much easier to avoid the journey. It’s easier to waste endless amounts of energy complaining, rather than searching for a solution. Doing the wrong thing is much more gratifying than the right thing. Planning and preparing is far too daunting–. Long  deep sigh….the list goes on and on…

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At times weighing myself down from the unmet pressures stirring from within.

This week I was confronted with a wise saying from the book of Proverbs. “Do your planning and prepare your fields before building your house.” (Proverbs 24:27) As I meditated on this scripture, I asked myself three questions.

  1. What am I planning?
  2. What have I prepared?
  3. Is my house honestly ready to be built?

In the past, I’ve made countless mistakes in equating plans and preparations with careers, finances and material positions. Not to say those things aren’t important, they most certainly are, but they are not the pillars of a home, nor a solid foundation that keeps it in place. There are plenty of people with gorgeous homes, amazing careers and endless material possessions who are still dissatisfied with life. As I’m getting older, my perspective on planning and preparation has changed. For me, building consistent solid relationships,  investing time, energy and resources in causes that matter, walking in alignment with my life’s mission and purpose, which in turn produces positive impactful outcomes is what really matters.

When I thought about the questions, what am I planning and what have I prepared, I had to really think deeply about my process, journey, impact and progress. I had to separate things I’ve done (actions) with the values of my heart (character-authentic self). I thought about the many children I encounter on a daily basis at work and outside of the classroom. The many unknown names I interact with on the streets, walking to and from set destinations. I thought about the many things that give me a great sense of joy and the things that bring me deep sorrows. My plans consist of the deep treasures that were given to me by my creator, value systems that affect the world in a greater sense beyond just me. They are plans that my great ancestors must have started from long ago. Plans that have been hidden in the deep soils of my earth; plans rooted in the fields of preparation awaiting its season to be harvested and  used.

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plans hidden among the roots.

The question, what have I prepared should be changed to what am I preparing. The preparation is an on-going  process. It has its different stages but its never-ending.  If not careful, preparations can become stagnant due to distractions and vainglory. It’s in my nature to long for acknowledgment and praise from others. But, if I’m truly honest with myself, words of affirmation from others do nothing for the soul, if  the heart is discontent with life. It’s one thing to want more but, it’s another to never see the good  and the growth along the way.

 A house can only be built on a solid foundation. My foundation will always be found within my heart.

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It’s just a matter of appreciating its greatness, deepness and vastness in my life. When  I start looking else where to validate my worth, a piece of my structure becomes undone. I’m learning how to stay true and preserve the  heritage (my foundation) that’s been established from the beginning.

 

I’m just Speaking Out Loud in my Process of Becoming…

 

Signing Out,

Wednesday, November 2nd, 2016

Willynn Sanon Thompson

Writer’s Name: Esther Lynn

 

A field can bare much fruit, but only the farmer knows the true condition of the soil.

 

 

 

Greater Hights: Sojourner Reflections 

September is in full swing. The seasons are changing slowly but surely. A new semester has started and the burning summer heat is finally fading. Micah and I decided to continue with our Hangul studies. It’s not easy but we’re determined to know and understand the language before leaving Korea. Lately I’ve been thinking about the past few months. I’ve asked myself on several occasions, how am I fulfilling my destiny, my mission in life? It’s a deep question that has taken me a long time to fully answer.

September will make seven months in Korea. My life here has been an emotional roller coaster. I don’t mean that in a negative way. It’s been a necessary time of me constantly fighting with myself. When I first got to Korea I was very silent and guarded. During orientation, I was very stand-offish. Deep down inside I wanted to meet new people and I did to some extent. But I felt more comfortable in my bubble. At the time I thought my biggest leap of faith was moving to Korea. I failed to think past the moving stage and the process of actually living here. The first three months were very challenging for me as a woman, foreigner, teacher and wife. I constantly missed my two best friends, my sisters from back in the states. I often would long for the comfort and access of authentic relationships in my life. Now that I am looking back, what made the first three months so hard was me only paying attention to the negative aspects rather than the blessings that surrounded me.

During summer break, Micah and I took a cruise to Japan. I remember standing on the deck watching the sunset. Mesmerized by its beauty, captivated by its story. As the sun was dawning a masterpiece was taking its place. The horizons: the place where the sky touches the earth. As I gazed at the horizon it caused me to reflect on my beauty, story and ultimate masterpiece. At that moment, the horizon reflected my destiny. I saw all of my visions in its light. My heart was being painted at the peak of the distant mountains. So desperately I wanted to reach out and take hold of whatever was hidden from me, but the length of my arms and the distance to the horizon was too great. Instead I marveled at how simple things, such as nature, can tell the story of an individual’s heart. It took me seven months to recognize my growth; oneness with my heart and the language of God.

I’m amazed at the lessons I have learned in such a short period of time. Womanhood has taught me persistence, grit and great humility. Being a foreigner has enriched my perspective, world view and understanding. My greatest lessons were taught by my students. They taught me the joys of being young, carefree and fun. Helping me connect to my inner child. As a wife I’ve been learning the deeper meaning of love engulfed in action surrounded by wisdom. I’ve learned the power of asking one more question. The relationships that I have made have been the authentic conversations that came out of one good question being asked. I’m grateful for the small group of girlfriends I have made along this journey. Lastly, my most cherished lessons were taught by my husband, Micah. He has challenged me to step outside of my box, to think differently and to see the good in all things. His motivation encouraged me to step out in arenas I would have never gone to on my own. I’m grateful for his leadership, but most appreciative of his love.

These experiences are creating a beautiful masterpiece within me. When the sky touches the earth my soul is intertwined with the story that it’s trying to convey to me. My purpose and mission may not be clear right now. However, I’ve been greatly encouraged by knowing, the pace in life that I am now living is developing a straight path to my future surroundings. I’m on the road to greater heights. I’m in my process of becoming. I’m Speaking Out Loud.

Signing Out, 

Esther Lynn

Sunday, September 11th, 2016